mercredi 31 juillet

SUBJECT: Slut
TIME: 11.00P
MOOD: Glad
MUSIC: Olive - Smile
I'm drinking red wine tonight ('murlow' thanks to marija n.) and enjoying the evening. The opera is going remarkably well. The notes for this evening were less than a page long, and they were minor slip-ups. And all this after less than a week and a half of rehearsal. We're almost ready to be on stage. Monday, however, will be a steaming pile because it's our first day in the theater. And the chorus... well, let's just say they need a little work. Pretty good though, considering the chorus is basically just a commercial for alzheimer's. "My dad's doing better now, thanks to the Alzheimer's Association of America. He still doesn't remember my name, or where he is, but he stopped pissing the bed." Michael is a genius as always, and requires that we say so every half hour or so. Heh. I think it's a virgo thing. I'm worried I might turn into him. Which wouldn't be so bad considering how talented he is and SO employed. But the little kids will have to be sent home when I walk in the door. This is an R-rated show.

Matt left me the cutest message today indicating that he loves me about 7 times in 30 seconds. I miss my baby.


lundi 29 juillet

SUBJECT: San Francisco
TIME: 11.00P
MOOD:
MUSIC: Ben Folds Five - Selfless, Cold, and Composed
So I just got home from another long day of boring rehearsals. But at least I got to conduct an entire scene today. woohoo! Tomorrow night I have the whole thing to myself, though television cameras are coming to film the rehearsals. I hope they don't try to interview me, because I'm just not that great in front of video cameras.

Yesterday was fun. I went to the City in the early afternoon, after having spent my morning doing laundry. I wonder if the machine that ate my seventy-five cents is working yet. I still have a load of whites. I mostly went shopping. I went to all the stores I'd been missing -- Macy's, Diesel, Banana, Tiffany, Niemann Marcus, Levi's, Urban Outfitters, Fossil, etc.. I didn't buy much though. Just a few skin care products from Origins at Macy's. They didn't cost too much, but still a considerable amount more than I'd normally feel comfortable paying. Next weekend I have to find Aveda because I'm running out of hair gel. *laffs* I'm such a fag. And speaking of which...

I went to the castro for a little bit to have dinner and chill and wait for Frangelo to call (which he didn't do until after 10) and I met a few friends for drinks and end up spitting beer all over this guy I'd never met, but have known online for over a year. He was not upset. But I was horribly embarrassed. Afterwards I got out of the bar so late that I'd already missed the last train home, so I went to Frangelo's and spent the night there. I hadn't seen him or his boyfriend since October, so it was nice to chill with them before I went to bed. And in typical fashion, Frangelo spent the better part of the evening cuddling with me. It was nice.

One thing that stuck with me yesterday was seeing two older men (probably late 40s) from the generation who dealt with The Disease sitting on the steps outside a victorian. They both looked great, muscles, clean-cut, moustaches, salt-and-pepper hair... the kind of distinguishing looks that I hope I have when I get to be that age. One was sitting behind the other a step higher, and they were talking quietly, relaxed, and waving to a friend who was crossing the street just ahead of me. It was such a friendly and honest picture to me. They smiled at me too as I walked past and I wanted to go over and hug them for setting such a great example to the world. And then I thought about Matt and how much I miss him and called him right away. I hope to be that couple someday -- geniune, happy, and full of love for each other. Being away from him is getting harder. I find more and more often how deeply rooted he is in my life and heart and mind. But in a month we'll be together and happy. And hopefully we can set an example to people who are looking for happy, stable, loving, and always imperfect (but just the way it should be) relationships. Because I think we do a lot better than either of us realize.