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Top Ten Worst Chess Books
1. playing for a lost cause
2. dead end game strategy
3. the few, the proud the 1200 players
4. the chess book for morons
5. play the caro-cann, idiot edition
6. play less than good in a week
7. how to beat a moron if your one too
8. how to ignore your opponent if He's eating a hoagie
9. dealing with jerks, an inside look on what it feels like to be a 800 player.
10. how to let your aopponenent cheat ( I get the feeling that this won't be bought by very many people eh.)

Top five stupid chess movies and shows

5. e4 the never ending story
4. phenomenon of the grob and spike saga.
3. e4-files(x-files)
2.Armageddan, The USCF VERSION
1.you've got mate

The five worst things you could say in a chess game

5. Oh , I'm sorry I cant use the clock, its against my religion.
4. Which side moves first?
3. how long does g/60 last?
2. I cant mate you in chess but I sure wouldnt mind practicing it in a different way
1. is it hot in here or is it just your attack

The Worst Chess Pick up lines
5.Be gentle, dont mate me too hard
4.Your Bishops are very nice
3.lets go back to my place and practice some mating tactics
2.I know the four and three move mate
1.You've got five minutes left